Caviar vs. Catfish

Since the beginning of time, women have been blaming other women for their male interest not reciprocating their feelings. This is not a new development. It was not, however, until the advent of Gossip Girl that there was a phrase to entirely sum up the age old concept of "I'm better than you, so it doesn't make sense that he picked you over me." We all know the the mantra, we've seen it on Facebook, on Instagram, after a break up or on Valentines day (passive aggressive V-Day quotes are literally my favourite thing to laugh at. It's not my fault you're lonely, but it may be that woe-is-me attitude). Low and behold, the wisdom of Blair Cornelia Waldorf:

It is fair to say that this phrase is applicable in some situations. Setting aside the fact that it perpetuates the habit of women fighting over men and demonising women for something when, excuse the cliche, it takes two to tango, this phrase can be applied in certain scenarios. Betting on the losing race horse when you had a lucky streak with the winner, moving to Kansas after living in Paris, and literally settling for catfish because the restaurant is out of caviar. Nine times out of ten, however, this is not what the phrase is relating to.

The main problem with the caviar/catfish concept when it comes to men choosing women who are perceived by other women to be less than themselves is that literally everyone thinks that they are the "caviar". News flash: we can't all be caviar. And most people spouting the phrase when their ex has a new girlfriend are particularly unqualified.

Because, really, the type of person that would passive aggressively post this in a public forum automatically qualifies themselves to belong it the first category. "Any man who must say 'I am the King' is no true king," and such a rule applies to the question of whether one is caviar or catfish as well.

All things aside, I am not dismissing the phrase all together. It's a great allegory, but the amount that it has been overused by those who do not fit the bill has almost entirely euthanised it's core meaning. The point is that caviar is elitist. The entire concept of paying upwards of $200 for an ounce of fish entrails (we're speaking Beluga caviar here) centrally belongs to those with disposable income, and such a high price for such a small amount of something so trivial cements it as the something only available to the crème de la crème. Caviar is special, caviar is not available to everyone, and caviar is hardly available in large quantities.

This means, essentially, that according to the allegory itself, not all of us can be caviar. Not even just by the standard that not all of us are elitist, but by the justification that there are too many people claiming the moniker to make sense by the standards of the subject.

Some people are catfish, some are carp, hell, some are anglerfish (I shudder at the thought). But we're not all caviar. So do yourself a favour and don't be one of those people claiming to be. You lose credibility to moment you have to tell people that you are.